[2014.03.09] Here's what I think about love.

I am frustrated because of this idea of love.

I wish there was more to the human race, but there isn't.

When we grow old, we get scared. We get scared because we are dying. We try to alleviate this fear by having someone to go through it with, thus avoiding the pain of being alone.

That's what life is about, isn't it? The avoidance of pain.

But what is the point of it all, man? So yeah, we find someone, we feel a sense of security, we feel like we matter, we feel taken cared of. What the frick does it matter? We're all going to die anyway, we're all still going to feel pain, maybe even pain induced by the supposed lover.

What is the POINT of finding someone to love? Yeah, it'd make things less sucky, yeah it'd make things less intimidating, yeah I'd probably feel less ANGRY at the world, but so what? We only have a limited amount of time here on earth, BUT WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT ALL? No, life is short so you gotta make the best of it. Life is short so NOTHING MATTERS. It doesn't matter what you do. You grow up and better the society? So???? You grow up and defeat water pollution? So???????????????????????????????????????????????? You grow up and end poverty? WHAT DOES IT FRICKEN MATTER.

I am just so frustrated because what is living, anyway. What is life. What is every thing I am doing right now, what is everything I see and touch and feel and what is perception and what IS ANYTHING.

I hate the idea of existing. I hate the idea that finding a lover equates to giving someone a reason to exist. What does it matter, it's just finding someone else who is condemned in this time-space continuum with no meaning to it whatsoever. The idea that love suddenly makes everything better...

But maybe the point of love is not to make things better or to give things meaning, but rather it is to blind us and make us turn the other direction so that we don't ask these questions.