[2011.02.01] Beauty.

. I know that every living being on earth is suppose to be beutiful, no matter what, and that no one is ugly, its just that the wrong people are looking at you. But I don't know why but I feel not beautiful right now. I mean, not to be self centered, but usually I just don't really care. But... it's like... a thing inside me... that's really sad, and I don't know why, but it's just... making me feel not beautiful.
. I was thinking about how I would act at school, and I hope I'd be sad (idk...) but everytime I want to be sad at school (because of how I feel at the moment), I usually end up smiling and acting happy and such... even when I really don't want to. But I guess how I seem to everyone else is more important to me than showing how I really feel.
. I don't know whether it's the fact that I don't feel beautiful right now or something, but I really feel like crying right now. Just for no reason. Crying is good, so why not. I mean, it's not like I deeply feel sad (please refer to the list of 200 about me), but I just... want to, just to, yknow? I mean, iit's very emo, but I'm a girl on her monthly gift, so it's kinda expected. I'm obviously nto crying now, I'm takling to Chanel and Jack and reminescing with Chanel abou thow honest she was, which makes me laugh, which is not what I want to do right now. But you know, it's always best to look on the bright side of things. Noting is accomplished by being sad.

Bro, don't be afraid to bring up emo things out of random. I do that all the time ;D.
Yea, sometimes I feel exactly the same way. Remember when I was googling ways to relieve stress?
I think on that night, I eventually did cry, and it did make me feel better. So, it's healthy to smile; but don't be afraid to cry, and don't be embarassed by it. Real men show their feelings.