[2014.02.05] I'm so frustrated.

I'm always so frustrated at myself and I just want to lie down and not do anything because just the thought of having to get up and simply take the trash out is hard enough for me to do and I wonder when it started to be this way, because it's been this way for a while and I'm pretty sure you're what set it off but all I want right now is one of your long hugs and you see this is exactly why I am not ready to be in another relationship because I'm too mentally screwed up to bring someone else in this mess and I just wish I could go and live in a place where I'm surrounded by strangers because then I don't have the slightest chance of running into someone whom I've moved on from and forgotten and I could have lived the rest of my life without having that conversation but alas here you are again to bring up bad memories and loose ends.